Recently, a coworker and I were talking about how insanely irritating it can be to peruse social media outlets. From jet-setting to Hawaii, to children with alarmingly perfect bone structure, to pregnant women who weigh no more than a-buck-twenty soaking wet, we often find ourselves comparing our eight-to-five, grocery-shopping, yoga-pant-wearing lives to the seemingly perfect (per social media) lives of our piers. I like to think that 90 percent of what goes on Facebook is deceitful in some way (perhaps because I'm a--gasp--jealous bitch):
Hawaii and Weddings and New Cars Alike
And, oh, did we mention we just took a hike?
Through the Grand Canyon and then through Nepal
And then jet-set China to see the Great Wall.
We had an awful time and bickered and fought
But, here, let me post pics of the souvenirs we bought.
Which we put on our credit card, because we can't afford this trip
But you wouldn’t know that from our video clip.
And if you’ve not noticed from my status update
We just bought a mansion--in case you weren’t already irate.
We’ve lost all our money. We’re bankrupt and broke.
But we stay laughing in photos, as if we’re in on a joke.
I’ve noticed you’ve not commented on my newest post
You know, the one where I brag, showboat and boast.
And did you happen to notice my husband, so great?
From the pics you can hardly tell that he’s always working late.
In real life, he’s cheating, but on Facebook he’s not
Check out his smile in these photos—doesn’t that say a lot?
And our kids look quite innocent with their smiles so meek
You’d never be able to tell that we hardly ever speak.
So, thank God for Facebook and my social media life
Because only on-screen is it so free of strife.
The picture I paint is false, but who cares?
As long as I get plenty of comments, likes and shares.